Sunday, July 30, 2006 3:29 PM
Happy Birthday to u,
Happy Birthday to u,
Happy Birthday...to xiao zhu...
Happy Birthday to u....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO LUO ZHI XIANG!!!
***
today is xiao zhu birthday. yay.
wishing him a great career ahead
n may his singing get beta n beta.
n his looks get shuai-er n shuai-er.
n wishing him that when his 4th album come out in october, it would b a hit!
jia you le!! xiao zhu. ai ni! =)
***
got invited to eat at a ballroom yday.
food was great.
yup the best part was after we left, me mx sn n ahtan went tm.
then i bought a new wallet!
yay.
so did mx.
she bought a new pencil case too.
hehex.
we bought the same wallet only diff colour.
but it was stil nice.
v pretty.
29 bucks now i'm reli broke.
wadeva.
i got my wallet.
now i'm searching for a bag.
a nice bag.
=)
wee...
[huiyuan's a HAPPY girl.]
[happy..sha-la-la-la-la]
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 7:23 PM
life is good recently.
at least for now.
on fri there'll b a bio test.
hope that i'll pass.
=)
[life is good for the time being]
>
>>
>>>
>>
>
i have once again picked up the passion for reading. hehex.
there r a few good books in mjc library.
probably the only good thing in the sch.
;p
off to mug...buah buah
Sunday, July 23, 2006 11:17 AM
went to mtps yday.
lol i cried like nobody's business in front of the teachers n my pa.
my pa was kinda used to seeing me cry so he was ok.
but i tink i freaked the teachers out a bit.
lol ng even thot tt my home had the case of child-abusal or something.
or perhaps even violence at hm.
he asked tt if i felt uncomfortable talking to my pa can go look for him.
=.=
lol
com'on not evrybody comes from a broken family tt i would have to seek comfort from the teachers.
i din cry cos my pa pressurized me or anything.
it's just tt i got reli fed when ng n goh kept asking the same qns.
n it's not as if they ask it wld help me in anyway.
they kept asking how they can help or how i was gonna manage my time.
stuff lidat.
n that was so lame.
n the lamest thing was they say i look reli tired in sch.
they asked me to slp early but at the same time they wan me to complete my tutorials.
[contradiction]
i cant slp unless i finish my work.
n normally i cant finish my work.
heavy workload.
n my pa was so funny cos he kept saying that it cld have been the sch's prob or the teachers' prob tt the students were faring badly.
lol.
my pa even ask ng a qn tt left ng dumb-founded.
[hilarious]
not much of a help actually, just sat there n let my tears roll.
while my pa kept defending me.
then it was like i got reli fed up w all the bullshit that the teachers were saying bcos i dun tink tt aft the session it wld make my life any beta.
waste of time.
i wld rather stay hm n revise rather than sitting there n allow myself to dehydrate.
my pa converse in chi n goh din say much.
ng did most of the talking.
i cried til i choke on my tears.
my pa ask me to go to the toilet.
walked past the corridor n evrybody stared as if i just kana frm the teachers n my pa.
but no...
just got fed up w sch work.
my pa said perhaps it was the studying environment bcos i was nvr tis lousy n they nvr had to worry abt my studies.
then ng said tt they'll c aft a yr to c if i was suited for a jc environment n if not i cld go to a poly.
i was like wth??!
then wad was i here for?
to waste a yr of my youth n b cooped up in tis freaking place just to enjoy the pressure n go crazy frm it??
i told ng tt even if i go poly i wld stil have to do independent learning n it's not as if the workload wld b any lesser.
so wake up!! a plea to all teachers out there...pls dun try to tink tt u understand the students bcos u dun.
aftall we were here for only half a yr n how much will u noe in half a yr?
[other than we did real lousy for the mid-yrs otherwise nthg abt us is reli made known to u]
***
big thanks to someone tt day.
not my pa.
although i reli wana tell him thank you personally for defending me. love him lots. =)
well....(drumroll)
the person was yangzi.
realise tt a true fren sometimes need not have to b ur best fren.
it's just tt when u're reli sad n u need someone to talk to, a true fren comes along n lends u a listening ear.
reli hated myself tt day for crying but yangzi stood there n did little things tt reli touches me.
she din reli said much but she just stood by me.
THANK YOU!!big smiles =)))
***
the truth abt ng being bias is out.
he said he was not.
yz n me confronted him.
he told us that when a person dun chase aft another person for work is when he couldnt care less.
n he got reli pissed w "uh-hmm" so he reli din wana care any more.
we told him abt "uh-hmm" not wanting to contribute much for pw n he said he wld look into it.
ok so now i dun dislike ng as much.
=)
[i'm easily satisfied]
***
in the evening i went to visit my aunt at the hospital.
a new member has arrived in the family.
it's a girl!!
so now i have another playmate who's 17 yrs younger than me.
man...do i feel old or wad?
lol
*muacks to the little girl she was so cute!!
all babies r cute but she was the cutest.
haha.
Friday, July 21, 2006 6:52 PM
went back ahs today.
not for any special reasons.
just went back to reminise the old times.
love tt environment.
even the air smells fresher there.
pic i took w ser when we walking up the slope.
cool rite.
lol [left is ser, right is me =)]
saw mr chan.
he looks even older now.
more white hair.
miss him.
esp the way he teaches us.
esp now tt in mjc i got a teacher hu is full of bullshit.
ok not one.
mayb a few.
***
got kb by my pw a.k.a math a.k.a form teacher today.
i use to tink he was a good teacher bcos he reli did try his best.
n somehow ppl just din wan to listen to him.
so i try to do my tutorials.
but sometimes it's not that i dun want to do.
but teachers must understand that we ARE afterall students.
n we are here to learn.
we dun come in smart like u.
n they expect that after going thru the lecture once we are like the super absorbent sponge.
evrything goes in n stays in.
sorry to say but no.
[if we do know evryting all teachers will be jobless]
i dun understand the lecture sometimes.
[the teachers will definitely say then i shud have consult them]
but...the prob is that since we dun understand wad is happening during the tutorials, do u tink that by repeating wad he say during a consultation we wld understand?
[you'll need a miracle for that]
consultations are when you dun listen to lectures n dun quite catch wad the lecturer is talking abt.
so in lay man's term a consultation is just a repetition of the lecture or tutorial.
but wad happens aft tt if we listen n stil do not understand?
since we cant understand the teacher now do u seriously tink we will understand him aft tt?
kinda suck at evryting.
i'm v upset.
upset over today.
***
oh ya i have yet to describe abt the kb-ing by my teach.
hate him cos he is so bias towards one student.
just becos he has some defect in speech?
or becos of pity, tt evry1 in class ostrasize him??
wadeva the reason, he is just bias.
make me reli pissed.
he can be the most ignorant to that particular student abt handing in of work.
but to us,
even if we do hand in he just gives us shit talk.
y do teachers always tink tt they are right?
y do they not take the stand of the students n tink in a different perspective?
perhaps tt wld just make life easier.
we were late.
i admit but exact time was not stated.
so it wasnt totally our fault for being late.
plus we did not c the msg.
the teacher was nvr particular abt this sort of things but today he just pisses me off.
wadeva.
if not for the fact tt all of us will b sitting for the a lev do u tink any1 wld wana give a damn abt the pw?
to hell whoever invented pw.
waste of time.
[spit]
tml is meet the parent session n i will be seeing him agn.
cant even let me off during the weekends.
seeing his face makes me puke.
[ok mayb a bit of over-doing there but reli disgusted abt him]
***
haha...weekends are here. but only 7weeks left to promos.
jiayou ppl.
we shall n we will promote as a class. WHOLE.
we will not b look down on my some f**king teachers ok.? =)
Smilez.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006 6:27 PM
haa.
thx to evry1's concern.
love ya ppl out there cos even at worst times, u all were stil by my side.
all of a sudden i reli miss ahs
ppl say u nvr miss or tink abt someone or something until it is gone.
n now tt i have left ahs i reli miss the dear old place.
miss the environment.
miss the teachers.
miss my frens.
=( cries.
i miss those times when ahs is such a condusive environment.
i use to tink i knew myself but now i dun.
now i duno wad i reli wan.
thot i could work under stress but i realise i was so wrong.
stress nvr work for me in mjc.
broke down a few times alr.
the teachers nvr did try to understand the students.
they only noe all the shit talk.
they all tink they had halos on their heads and as if they were sent from heaven as saviours to save us.
over my dead body. pukes.
they just make sch feel more like hell.
i got reli depressed.
n when i get depressed i cant study.
n when i cant study, my grades go tumbling.
n when my grades go tumbling, my teachers n my mum starts to nag.
[pressure=>depressed]
it's all a vicious cycle.
hate the environment hate tis place.
makes me wana cry each time i thot abt sch work.
i reli dun wish to give a damn but can i??
hu is to ans to my agony?
hu is to tell me wad i'm suppose to do?
suicide is nvr an option for me.
but perhaps one day it might b?
***
today the gp teach wanted to c me.
i din reli mind so wth i went to c her.
some crap talk tt lasted abt 5min.
she said tt she was gonna c my parents during mtps.
n she said how is she gonna tell my parents abt my results then??
without embarassing me.
i was like wth???!!
i freaking PASS my gp n here she is w some bullshit!
cut the crap missy.
i pass my gp so tt's the end of the line.
your job is done.
ok perhaps u din quite catch tt, your job is done! as in D-O-N-E!!
get it??
so i told her.
just tell them in wadeva way she like.
[i dun care]
my father is the one going.
it's not tt he doesnt care abt my studies.
he does but somehow i tink he noes tt i did try so he din push me harder.
unlike my mum.
she just dun understand.
the teachers dun understand either.
sometimes i just wan to break down in front of them to show them my displeasure but wad can i do??
i'm in sch...hello??!
***
so it's like there's no one i can reli confide into.
sorry pa for being so rude the other day.
it was late at night he ask me to slp early.
din ans him.
then he popped a random qn n asked how was i coping in sch?
he nvr showed such concern.
i was pissed abt hw tt day n not being able to slp early so i said," so wad if sch is tough?? wad can i do? i stil have to continue, it's not as if there's anyone to help me."
then my pa got pissed cos he asked out of concern n i was being reli rude.
i'm sorry.
i know tt he cares. =) thanks pa.
then on another day he told me tt i reli must study hard.
cos he said when he was young he didnt work hard n he ended getting sick of studying bcos he couldnt understand so he kinda gave up on his studies.
he told me to work hard n tt i shud try to understand my work so tt i wun have to work as hard as him to earn big bucks.
n it's not as if he's earning a lot.
i know he cares.
my mum cares too tt's y she keeps pressing me to go for tuition.
but now she doesnt cos she knows tt i din wan it.
ok i love my parents. aww...
they just wish tt i would work hard now so that i wun have to work as hard in future.
but i realise i'm reli brain-drained.
evryting just keeps coming in n going out. nthg stays.
***
no one to turn to.
no where to go.
cant possibly break down in front of my frens n tell them i hate sch the moment i c them rite??
tt wld b like lol.
if i reli do so.
i wld b crying evry single day.
i will try to work hard.
so ppl ard me,
PLEASE as in reli PLEASE if u r considering to confront me abt working hard in my studies.
please dun.
cos u r not me.
n u will definitely not noe wad i'm going thru.
thx for the concern anw. =)
[may God bless 06S304 to promote as a WHOLE class =D]
Wednesday, July 12, 2006 10:52 PM
last sun i went for my 2nd time of math tuition.
definitely wasnt effective at all.
not cos of the tcher.
just tt i was stupid.
she taught differentiation.
all the rest of the students came either from hua chong or victoria.
they had already did tt topic in sch.
but i havent.
we did Maclaurin's Theory.
i kinda figure out wad it was but i din noe how to apply it.
the teach went pouring with mathematical formulas as though evry1 knew wad she was talking abt.
in fact evry1 did except me perhaps.
cos she looked at me.
i gave her the "sorry-but-i-reli-dun-understand" look.
so she went through the same qn for 3 times n i stil didnt get what she meant.
so i suppose it was just my deteriorating intelligence.
now tt my head is just an empty shell, i feel stupid.
incredibly dumb.
failed all my subjects except general paper.
tried gobbling down ginkgo pills which r known to improve memory but not intelligence.
din reli help so i stopped.
gave up hope.
tried talking my mum out from pushing me to math tuition.
it was a waste of her money n my time.
during the last session, evry1 was on differentiation.
the teach saw tt i hadnt got a clue abt tt topic so she gave induction tutorial instead.
but i knew nuts abt induction so i asked if i cld have summation instead.
i ended doing 2 n a half qn of summation during 3hrs cos i suck at tt too.
=.=
tt was like so lame.
well, eventually i kinda persuaded my mum to not let me go for tt tuition cos i kept grumbling abt how bad it was.
n she made up her mind to hire a private tutor instead.
thanks mum...
i know u meant well but no thanks.
i'm too bz for tuition.
even sacrificing 1hr for tuition is a great deal to me cos i noe my own limits and tis will definitely not help.
***
went through a lot of bad things today.
1. my grandma got admitted into the hospital becos she slipped and fell at hm n she was going to be operated on tonight at 10.30pm bcos there was something wrg w her knee when she fell. i felt so unfilial cos i had to stay in sch for cca n pw and was unable to visit her today. knew only abt the operation only today when my mum came back. if i had known tt it was so serious i wldnt have cared abt pw n cca and sld have gone to visit her today.
2. then at metta(cca) it was no better. waste my time trying to teach those kids. a girl just kept asking for answers she din even bother to think. she kept complaining p2 math was hard. (com'on!! wad abt j1 math??!) then the students there had reli poor academic results. i was v nice at first n i was teaching w a smile. then tt particular girl came along w her never-ending pursuit for math answers reli irks me. then i raised my voice at her. i din scold her. just tt i got pissed. got reli moody in sch today.
3. at sch, it was the same, i felt dumb during evry lecture. i was such a failure. n i had to hand in eom by tml which i had no idea wad to do. the sample was a lousy 1 or it is just tt i became too stupid to even understand simple instructions.
4. i tink i m suffering from a mental breakdown. evrytime my mum raises the issue of hiring a tutor, i wld first complain abt not having time n i wld end up in tears. i duno y. perhaps tuition was a sign tt my mum was at her wit's ends abt my results n have no choice but to get someone to "enlighten" me. just had a tiff w my mum over the tuition issue n at tis point of time i m tearing.
i get v upset when it comes to concern w my studies.
i have no time
n ppl suggest tt i sld plan my work n have time-management.
but the problem here is that i have no time in the 1st place so how was i to manage it??
answers anybody??
sigh.
***
Lord
i pray that i wun ever hate studying.
i pray that i will never hate studying.
i pray that i will come to love to study one day.
i pray that i will never want to give up on studying.
i pray that my grandma will get well soon.
Thank You in the name of Jesus i pray.
Amen.
***
I'm desperate. I reli am.
Tuesday, July 04, 2006 1:25 AM
omg omg omg
i typed out evrything n my com just died on me.
there was an error report n my window was closed.
n all tt i have typed just now is no longer there.
o.O
nvm.
i shall b patient n re-type evrything agn.
***
it was such a packed day today.
but it was so fun =)
slept at 4am last night to complete the YRF(yellow ribbon fund) proposal
but i din manage to finish it anyway.
i thot it was best if i get some shut-eye
if not i will definitely b dozing off in the movie the nxt day.
woke up at 8.30am tis morn.
i was meeting up with jiaxian at plaza sing.
the silly girl woke up early to buy her mp3
=.=
(limited to only 20pieces per day)
no cute guys there for admiration though but jx was so mesmerised but this girl working at the shop w a short cute haircut.
[ok!!...admit it jx! u lesbo!! lol =D]
there was a need for me to go to the creative shop
becos i had to buy new stik-ons for my zen neon.
yea...i got the bold series. they were nice.
but jx thot tt the kawaii series were better but nah.
craps my style. lol
[not tt i have any to speak of in the first place]
aft the retail therapy we went to mac.
[a hunger pang hit jx]
then jx realise tt she had lost her wallet.
btw jx had lost her wallet n she went to collect it b4 coming to buy her mp3.
so it was like, she found it n now she loses it agn.
we went searching in evry single place from the shop where her wallet was last seen to mac which was our last stop.
but we cldn't find it.
we were suppose to meet ser at 11am for a swim at karen's hse.
i was abt to msg ser to tell her tt we will b late becos our dear jx had lost her wallet when jx suddenly exclaimed that she had found it.
no more frantic girl.
but guess wad??!
"where did she find it?" u ask?
well...our v blur girl actually placed her wallet into a most secluded compartment of her bag which she has nvr used.
n today she just happens to misplaced her wallet in her bag.
O.O
ironic.
then aft suppressing the urge to conk jx' head,
we set off to meet ser.
***
when we reached karen's hse.
the security guard didn't want to let us in.
he was v rude to us.
[com'on, it's not as if i will b robbing hse to hse]
so i called karen to come out to fetch us.
i shouted over the phone,"Hey Karen!! We reached already. The security guard dun wan to let us in!!"
sorry but i was being v ap.
the security guard heard me of cos.
n when he saw karen coming out, he talked to her for a moment b4 coming over to us n apologised.
lol. [wicked laughter]
so when he let us enter, we thanked him.
n he gave us a very sincere reply,"Welcome!"
haha..spastic.
jx n karen cldn't swim due to unforseen circumstances which i shall not further elaborate.
so there was only me n ser left.
went for a dip in the pool.
splash! cooling chlorinated water. =)
went to the sauna as well. lol.
hot!
then at 1.30pm i went to shower.
after tt ser n i went to simpang bedok eat prata.
smiles. i had plain n egg.
ser had plain n banana.
we had teh-ice. a big cup of it.
it was a relatively satisfying lunch.
despite the fact tt i was alr running late for the meeting w shuning, chenen, xiuxian, jiaqi n kian hwee, ser n i walked hm.
i went hm to change b4 meeting them.
i was suppose to meet them at 3pm but i reached at 4pm instead. lolz.
***
aft i met up w them we went to buy movie tickets.
we were gonna watch 'just my luck' at first
but then we realised the time was not right.
so we watched 'superman returns' at 5.30pm
yea!! SUPERMAN! shuai.
the only cute guy i had seen over the past week.
wahaha.
the movie was not bad.
out of 5 stars i give it 3.5-4stars
[good enough already, wld have given it only 3.0stars if not for the cute guy tt acted as superman. lol]
then we had dinner at yoshinoya.
it was a crazy day out w those guys.
wee...
***
that's abt the whole of my day.
btw big accomplishment today!!
i have completed the YRF proposal at last!
yay. phew...
[dead beat]
zZZzz...
Sunday, July 02, 2006 10:44 PM
exams were a total disaster.
horrid experience.
it was the first time ever tt i could ever not noe anything n enter the examination room with such ease.
the worst was math, i suppose.
so i ended up in a math tuition.
forced by my mum, had a deal w her.
went for it the first time 2day.
[thumbs down. down down down.]
first of all the teacher looks strange.
it was told that she used to be the vice-pres of tjc.
[yeah rite. but then agn hu noes?]
[shrugs]
then her hand-writing was atrocious.
her writing slants n she writes her 'k' in the strangest way.
wadeva.
we went thru p&c 2day.
[p&c=permutation & combination]
actually we were suppose to go thru differentiation but then my sch had yet went thru it yet.
so she decided not to.
but it seems lyk evry1 was at a different pace so she decides to start off w p&c.
it was ok.
i manage to follow wad she was saying.
i kept msging in class.
[not tt i m a rude girl or anything, but i just wanted to show my displeasure towards her]
[in other words, i was being a-p]
the tuition fees werent cheap.
$160 for four times. 2hrs per session.
from 1.30 to 3.30
the passing minutes were torturing me.
i was alr counting down at the start of the lesson.
so when it reached 3.30,
i started packing secretly n slowly
[hoping tt by the time i finish packing the teacher would let us go]
but Nooo...she went on & on & on.
we had to complete tis piece of work.
12 p&c qns.
there were stil 5 left when it was 3.30
so i thot lyk it was gonna b hw.
but no we had to complete it at the spot.
so i pressed on.
the super enthu teacher released us only at 4.30
=.=
so tt was all for the day n it was deemed that she had finished teaching p&c.
some lesson...
no cute guys. lol
[sorry out of point]
there were 2 guys n 3 girls including me, n 1 old lady
==>the teach.
boring...
wad a FRUITFUL day!! :)
[spastic]
***
p.s (looking forward to going out tml. wee..."just my luck" here i come...)
